If you read my blog post yesterday, you’re probably wondering a few things. If you haven’t read that post, do it now! The rest of this post will make better sense if you do.
The first question is probably what happened with the report? And second, how did Cora’s IEP meeting go?
My mom wanted me to shred the report. When I called her on that Tuesday with the update on how I felt about the report and what all God had to say about it, she said to shred it. And I considered that! I carried it around with me all day Tuesday, praying about what to do, debating whether I should destroy it. I walked by the shredder at least a dozen times, sometimes even laying the report on top of it.
But I just couldn’t do it! So I decided to save it. And not just that, but I sealed it in an envelope with a letter I wrote to future Cora, and the envelope has instructions on the front that say “To be opened at Cora’s college graduation.”
The letter reads:
October 29, 2015
Dear Cora,
It’s your graduation day! I’m so proud of you, and I knew you could do it! You are one of the hardest working people I know, and hard work always pays off! I have been and remain your biggest cheerleader in this world.
I’m giving this to you today because I want to prove to you that YOU are a miracle and that you are loved more than you’ll ever know. This is a report that a “professional” once gave to me. It basically says that you’ll never graduate from high school with a real diploma, you’ll never have a job, or be able to live on your own. It says you have a low IQ. I will admit, when I first saw this report, I cried, and I cried a LOT. I even yelled at God (it’s okay – He’s a big God and if you’re ever upset, He can handle it… He will never stop loving you).
Then God reminded me of some things, and then I was mad at myself for letting this report upset me as much as it did! He reminded me of the very first test that this hospital ran on you when you first became my daughter said that your brain was so damaged that you’d never walk, talk, run, dance, learn, eat – anything! You do all of those things!! And you do them all with amazing style.
Then God reminded me what it says in His word about you. Psalm 139:14 says that you are FEARFULLY and WONDERFULLY made! Jeremiah 29:11 says that God knows the plans he already has for you, plans to give you HOPE and a FUTURE.
Cora, you are a miracle. God made you exactly as you are and with a purpose. I have been so blessed by being your mom and seeing God work his plan in and through your life. You have overcome so much, and it’s been by the grace of God that you are who you are. I can’t wait to see what else He has in store for you!
I love you so much and I am so very proud of you. You can do ANYTHING you set your mind to. It says in Philippians 4:13 that you can do ALL things through Christ who gives you strength. It says in Luke 1:37 that NOTHING is impossible with God.
Love,
Mom
This letter is currently addressed and sealed and in the safe in my garage. And if I’m still around for this day, and if any of you are still around for this day, know that I’m going to need a truckload of tissues and lots of shoulders to shed my tears of joy on.
Now, what happened in the IEP meeting. This can really only be described as God answering prayers. Honestly. I had been texting with my pastor throughout my 4 day meltdown, and then texted him again on Tuesday when I finally got a grip, but I asked him to continue praying. On that Tuesday, I told him I was livid at this report, and I was afraid that the wrath of Angie was going to be something really scary for any person who decided to say one cross word about my miracle girl. And with her IEP meeting, where the ENTIRE MEETING is addressing things that are “wrong,” I was honestly afraid I’d tear someone’s head off.
And then at the same time, I had very specific things I wanted, several of which we haven’t qualified for before, and one that isn’t technically IEP-related, but transportation-related. Tearing someone’s head off is not typically conducive to getting what you want.
But of course God is bigger than that. I went into the meeting with a list a mile long of my wants for Cora, but afraid of MY reactions to what was said or if my wants got shot down, and my guard was up. I walked into a room with like 10 people in it, and my first thought was, “Uh-oh. Someone is VERY likely to say something to set me off.” There was such a high chance with such a large group. I said a quick prayer in my head, “God, this meeting is yours. I need You to go before me and help us come to a plan that is best for Cora. Move me out of the way.”
As the guidance counselor began the meeting by reading the recap of our last meeting together, the meeting had officially begun. Then the school psychologist began, “I’m sure you’ve read the report from Children’s by now, and I can only imagine as a mother how hard that was to see in black and white. We want you to know first off that we don’t think all of the predictions for Cora’s future. She’s 5. We’ve seen her surpass every limitation ever put on her. She has learned a LOT here already, and we are not giving up on her. We love Cora to pieces and we think she’s amazing because of how hard she works and how far she’s come in the few years she’s been here already. But we are going to use this report to qualify her for more services, and we’re going to continue giving her our very best in order to bring out her very best.”
And just like that, my guard was completely down, my fears completely deflated, I let out a HUGE breath that I’d apparently been holding, and I knew God was there present in that room. He had gone before me and had prepared every heart in that room to seek out the best for Cora.
We formulated an IEP that I’m actually very proud of. I think it challenges Cora, and I think she will meet her goals. It’s not easy. Nothing worthwhile ever is. I’m so glad for the group of people I have working with Cora and furthering her education. She loves school and I love the school she’s in. She’s in great hands there.
So today, I’m thankful to God and grateful for answered prayers.
Angie Maddox 